The Sordid Saga Of Blonde Fetus Comics

The Blonde Fetus Comics logo.

Blonde Fetus Comics was an independent comic book publishing company started by Christian Klusman and Michael Mercadante in March, 1999.

Two important things happened near the beginning of that year that inspired us to start down such a path. The first was the movie Office Space. We were both completely taken with it. I saw it three times during its three-week theatrical release; Christian saw it four times. It was one of those rare movies that makes you think, “Fuck, I need to DO something.” Mike Judge, you have our eternal gratitude for that.

A few weeks later, we both went to an exploitation film convention in Sleepy Hollow, New York. Among the guests were 70′s black action stars Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, Richard Roundtree (the original “Shaft!”), and blaxploitation director Jack Hill. There were very few people attending, so we had these people basically to ourselves. We spent the weekend learning the tricks of indy film production, and we walked away determined to make a comic book.

Early concept art for the character of Arlene.

I know, you’re probably wondering how we got from film to comics. Well, we basically decided that we could make a comic a hell of a lot cheaper than we could make a movie.

We spent the next month or so developing the script over long nights at the local Denny’s restaurant. By May, I’d begun working on the art for the first issue of “Honey”, which took the bulk of the summer. At this point, it looked like we’d actually finish it, so we went ahead and booked ourselves to appear at the Small Press Expo, one of the largest comic book cons on the East Coast.

By August, we were shopping the finished book to printers, and were turned down by several because of the offensive language. We finally found a printer (I don’t even remember who we used at this point) who ran us 1,000 copies with newsprint interior.

We got the finished books back from the printer the weekend before the con. I was so excited that I got a speeding ticket on the way to take one to Christian’s house. I showed it to the cop, but we make fun of cops in the book, so I still got a ticket.

In the week before the show, we had large foamcore replicas of the cover and an interior page printed, along with postcards and business cards, and we screenprinted two dozen T-shirts ourselves, all featuring the “Blonde Fetus” logo. My mom sewed us up a table skirt, and we printed the logo on that as well.

For newbies, we looked professional. We were bluffing.There were enough big-name stars of the comics world there for us to be overlooked, so we started signing copies of the book with things like “For Your Reading Pleasure” and “Here’s To A Great BM!”, and placing them in the stalls in all the bathrooms in the hotel.

Honey creators Michael Mercadante and Christian Klusman at the Small Press Expo in 2000.

Surprisingly, it worked, and people started stopping to see us, saying things like, “I saw your book in the john, and was cracking up reading it”. It’s rare that total strangers will admit taking a shit to someone. (By the way, our technique is now often employed by indy publishers, and is known as the “Blonde Fetus Promo”).

We spent the rest of the weekend signing autographs, and hanging out with other indy creators. By the time we’d left, we’d actually sold thirteen or fourteen books, and a T-shirt. In contrast, we’d given away nearly 100 books, and five T-shirts.

We’d spent nearly a thousand dollars on printing and promotional supplies, and I think the cost of the hotel and con cost another few hundred. And we’d cleared nearly thirty dollars. But, hell, we had a blast.

When we got back home, we went on a small promotional tour, doing guest signings at local comic shops and bookstores, and interviews with local newspapers (I think we got mentioned in a total of 14 newspapers).

And then we rested.

We took the holidays off, then started work on the second book. Christian had the script finished by February or March, and I again spent the bulk of the summer inside, drawing my ass off.

My exhibitor tags from the 1999 and 2000 Small Press Expo.

We found a different printer, and only got 250 copies of the second book, on much nicer paper. And we booked for the 2000 Small Press Expo.

We sold better at the second one, but were still vastly overspending what we were earning (we were better than $2,500 in the hole by that September).

When we got back home, we did a little promotion, but less than we did on the first tour. By the following spring, Christian had finished the script for the third issue, but I was feeling less excitement about the idea of spending my whole summer drawing again, and wasn’t even sure if I’d have the money together.

When the FAA grounded all air travel following the tragedy on September 11, 2001, the Small Press Expo was cancelled for that year. It gave us a break we really didn’t need.

During that break, we didn’t create another book. We still haven’t. We felt that we were spending far too much money, and far too little effort on promotion, to do it all a third time. So, Blonde Fetus Comics went dormant, and “Honey” went on indefinite hiatus.

That was ten years ago now.  We still get mail every now and then, asking us when the next issue will be out. And we still think about it from time to time. Who knows what the future might hold?